Not what I'm used to...but

Last night when I crawled into bed my dishes weren't all done and neatly stacked away in our cabinets. My bedroom floor was scattered with folded clothes that have yet to make their way into our dresser and closet. On my couch the pillows were strewn all to one side and the dog had left a fresh hole in another cushion corner. My carpet and floors needed swept and vacuum in the worst way. My bathroom towels needed to be swapped out for clean ones and the rugs needed washed. I needed another shower after being spit up on for the 4th time and changing into my 3rd clean shirt of the day. And the dinner I cooked wasn't as hot or near as delicious as I anticipated it to be. But...
My husband came home with a hug and smile. Our son slept while we ate a meal together. I got to catch the Jon and Kate episode I'd missed from the night before. We fed Owen bananas in his rice cereal for the first time. And he smiled at me through a messy mouth full of mushy food. I got to take a picture of that smile. I got to listen to Jer rock and sing and dance Owen to sleep. I learned his favorite Jason Mraz song to sing to Owen. The chorus talks about "Sleep all Day...we sleep all day." I got to hear him sing it from our living room while I lounged in bed writing this. And now, I sit amid my messy house, a situation that would drive me crazy just a few short months ago...and I find myself warm, relaxed, completely exhausted and completely content. My animals are sleeping soundly. Jer is breathing deeply next to me. His arms are outstretched over his head. I realize this is where Owen gets it and I smile. Owen is crashed and dreaming in his nursery. A nursery I take pride in every day because it was a labor of love. And I realize tonight as I write, that this is not what I expected life to look like. I'm not sure you ever know what life will look like exactly. But you have these pictures in your head. At least I did. And somehow in the pictures you never picture the mess. The spit up. The exhaustion. But what I have because of all of this is so much better. I have the promise of a beautiful future. A beautiful life. Of family vacations. Of Friday nights watching movies in our bed all snuggled up and throwing popcorn at each other while watching Owen's favorite Disney movie again for the 100th time. Of sticky summer ice cream treats. Skinned needs and kisses that make the pain melt away. Tonight...I realized that life is never as neat and easy as the pictures you paint in your head. Emotions sneak up and suprise you. Some good, some bad. Tonight what I realize is...it's never what you imagine, it's not what you're used to...but because of that...it's better. So much better.