Almost Wordless Wednesday...

While I was away at a work event this past Monday and Tuesday this photo came through my cell phone courtesy of their Dadda.  What a wonderful Monday afternoon surprise!  These two faces make everything better :)

Cell Phone Pics!

On the days when I'm home with the boys and it's just us...I often send pictures and video to Jer.  I just like to say hi, love you and miss you.  My cell phone is a very convenient way to keep track of these type of photos and also a quick way to capture a video I don't want to miss.

As I was flipping through a few the other day, I realized there were some really cute ones of me and the boys.  And honestly the boys in general.  So I decided to do a cell phone photo dump :)  Enjoy these random selections...from Jessie's Palm Pre...soon to be iPhone!

Going to see Tom Tom!

Owen is obsessed with Thomas the Train!! When he was first learning to say it, he would call him Tom Tom.  Now he is Thonnas. James (the red engine) is also known as Jamie in our house. It wasn't long before we decided we had to take him to see some real life Tom Tom's!!

Before I went back to work, we decided to plan a few fun family outtings.  One of the things we did was make a trip to the Museum of Transportation.  We had heard there were lots of trains and displays.  It was such a fun day with our boys!! We took lots of pictures and enjoyed as much fun as we could squeeze out of our visit!

Riding the miniature train.

 Cooper was passed out!

 Lots and lots of neat things to see...

 We rode a rehabbed street car around...we took seats way in the back in case anyone got rowdy! You never know with these two ;)

 Stopping for a snack!

 Ringing the big train bell...it was hard work and O needed a little help so Cooper and Dad assisted!

 Telling Owen all the place we had been at the end of our day.  What an adventure!  

Still Sinking in...

Tonight I took my boys over to see their Great-Grandpa.  Pap is what we call him.  I believe Pap started during my era...so for all of my 28 almost 29 years, this man, my grandpa, Pap...has been in my life.  So tonight I took my boys to enjoy some time with him.  It was also for myself...to enjoy time.  To see my Pap and remember all the wonderful things I love about him.  The evening was not short on the usual Pap-isms.  He played his guitar.  He said "That's stupid!"  He kissed my cheek and called me Jessica.  He couldn't wait to ruffle Owen's hair and kiss Cooper's cheeks and make him smile.  I think the only discussion we missed was the 255 exchange moving into our area and how much money the state was spending on it. HA!  That's my Pap.

But now that I'm home I'm so overwhelmingly sad it's incredible.  So I did what I always do, take to my words.  To see if I can find some understanding there.  Lord, if you're listening tonight...these words aren't here to get them off my chest.  I'm sending them your way.  So you can help me know what to do with all of this...

On my way to see him, I felt it coming. The sinking feeling that this visit was different. My stomach told me so. I wasn't just going to visit Pap and say hello and have a regular ol' visit. And it was that too...but it was more than that. Honestly, when I got there it was the same way it always is.  The boys make him light up like a Christmas tree and it was easy to forget about what's really going on.  In fact, Owen was so excited to see him, he knocked him over as he bend down for a hug!

But tonight was different.  I realized as I ate dinner with him...and watched him play his guitar for Owen and Owen danced around in my aunt and uncle's living room, that time is so precious. I wondered, if Owen will ever get a chance to remember this about him. Because tonight I stared at a man who has been told he has a mass in his chest.  He has cancer.  I kept thinking about the words...without treatment 6 months.  In the past few weeks he's been at the hospital, getting scans and tests and talking about treatments.  Cancer scores another one.  This time, its my Grandpa.  I hate cancer...so very much.

What I realized tonight is that I think it's all still sinking in...what it all means.  Looking at Pap you would never know there's something so dark happening to his body.  And I found myself thinking no. He's fine.  It's just like always.  But it's not.  Like I said...it's still sinking in.  Until then, I am just gonna muddle along...with this stupid knot in my stomach. The one that moves to my throat and creeps out a couple tears at a time...

Pap, because fighting this is an option, fight hard.  Fight hard for you, for us, for your great-grandsons that love you.  Please know you are stronger than you know.  And you can do whatever you set your mind to.  We love you so much.  

Should have been in bed...

But instead, these three goofballs were saying cheese with the camera and giving Owen an improtu lesson on how to use the camera.  It's times like this assure me that bending the rules and having some fun are way more important than making sure Owen is in bed at 8:30pm on the nose!!!