My Sunshine

Tonight I had the most precious moment with Owen. I'll never forget it. And I had to write it down immediately afterwards to capture my words the right way.

Owen is a snuggle bug. He's also had some rough fussy evenings the past few nights. It's nothing overly out of the ordinary. After a long day of fun and play, he's tuckered out and wants to eat, sleep and play all at the same time. Throw the Mom and Dad are home factor into the mix and you have a recipe for one big dose of screaming baby boy! We've adjusted to this time with him. One day he'll outgrow it and bedtime will be the way I always pictured it to be. Bathtime, PJs, bedtime stories and snuggles. When I was growing up we always used to say Night Night. Sleep Tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Mom kissed my cheek and left the door cracked just to let a little light in. It was blissful and safe and so special to me. So one day...I hope Owen feels the same way about his bedtime. Regardless and back to the point, tonight, I got a glimpse of what pure and absolute wordlessly describable love for another human being feels like. It's like nothing else I've ever known.

Tonight feeding Owen was a struggle. He was so worked up before his bottle he was sweating. Over exhaustion + hunger = disaster in the Linley House. It took quite a bit of coaxing, but he finally calmed down enough to eat. He had just finished up a bottle. And his little eyes were red from rubbing and exhaustion. So I snuggled him up in one of his favorite cozy blankets and rocked him in his rocker. As I patted his butt and sang to him, his eyes grew heavy and his arm went limp. I started singing You are My Sunshine...and from behind his pacifier came a little grin. Every time I sang You'll never know dear, how much I love you...he cracked open an eye and his smiles got bigger. This went on for I can't tell even say how many verses of the song. His smile got bigger and bigger each time until he really let go and went to sleep. By the time he was really asleep, I had tears streaming down my face. Something about that little smile and those baby blue eyes cracked open to see my smiling face staring down at him, gave me emotions I cannot describe with words. It's just love. Pure and simple. Love for a boy in my life that I never imagined could be so incredibly strong. What an amazing moment. Owen if you read this some time later in your life, know how much I love you. At this moment and always. My boy. My sunshine!