Writing often helps me express myself and find my heart again when I am grasping around for understanding or the words to put with the emotions.
As the day of our induction approached, I never imagined I'd find myself feeling bittersweet. The passage below came to me after I admitted to Jer that I was scared to loose the way we feel right now. I had a tear slip down my cheek and he looked at me and said "It's ok Babe. I'm scared too." I am so excited to meet our baby. Make a life with them. But our life is so wonderful...are we being greedy to think it'll get better? Once I put my thoughts into writing I realized the way I'm feeling is a simple testament to my marriage. It's not perfect...but it's ours. I realize so clearly the way I feel about the life we've built. I'm proud and blessed and so very loved. I never want our child to forget that they were made of our love and our desire to share this life with them. Life is pretty good all around :) Thanks for reading and letting me share my heart.
I wish I could freeze frame this moment. This time we are at right now. The way everything feels. The excitement. The nervousness. The comfort of each other and our routine. The one we know how to do. The one that has made you and me a family for the past 3 and a half years. The way our house looks now. The way it feels right now to pick up the house of just our belongings. The way I feel when you wrap me in a hug after a long day. The way it feels when you wipe away my tears. Or make me laugh so hard I can't stop crying. The quiet moments we spend before falling asleep every night. The smell of you on the t-shirt I'm sleeping in. Everything that has made us you and me. I wish I could take all these things and bottle them into a beautiful jar. The kind of jars you put lightening bugs in or see sitting on some old dusty forgotten shelf. The kind with a greenish blue tint...with a rusty metal lid. I'd wrap it in twine and put a tag on it that says "Us before you." I'd put my favorite pictures of us. And pieces of paper with these simple words. Love. Faith. Strength. True Friendship. Intelligence. Kindness. Happiness. Adventure. Bravery. Shoulder to Cry on. Purpose.
I love you Jer and I can't wait to see what else life brings our way. I love you Baby Linley. I can't wait to see what wonderful memories you will add to our Life Jar. All the wonderful things we will teach each other and learn as we grow into the Linleys.
As a tribute to us...here are some of my favorite pics of me and Jer over the past few years!
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1 comment:
SUCH AN AWESOME POST!!! Made me get a little teary!
The awesome thing is that you get to share how you & Jeremy are right now with someone else. And, that someone else can only make you better. It's going to be amazing. Your gonna be great!
Oh and those jars. I have a feeling if you could bottle times up...Your house would be filled with them. Especially over the next few years.
Okay. That's all. I've kinda became some wacko commenter on here.
LOVE YOU GUYS!
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