What we learned is what we’ve always known. Our son is busy. Busy busy busy. What I didn’t realize, is that this busyness is hindering his ability to take in all the information he should be able to at his age. Some of the things I believed to be him figuring out his words are simply him making noise…what the therapists called “not meaningful communication.” He does have words, just not as many as he should. He does communicate, but not near as much as using verbal skills as he should for his age. I have always been one who was very afraid to compare my child to other people’s children. Kids are kids. They are quirky and no two are alike. Nor should any two be compared or labeled for that matter...for the sake of feeling better about yourself or your child. Owen is uniquely Owen. The very things I love the most about him do in fact make him different from some 2 year olds his age. It was helpful for me during our evaluation to hear that they did not want to say anything just yet about Owen having a delay of one type or another. The hour both therapists spent with him, told them a lot about him, but I believe just scratched the surface of what he is capable of as a child.
Based on their hour evaluation, they can’t determine what level of speech and development he is truly at b/c they could not get a good gauge in just an hour. He moved around too much for them to be able to make a good assessment. That being said, they also felt that he would/could absorb information the best while being active. So on one hand he needs to slow down to absorb the most. But in the mean time, helping make sure active play (rough housing and spinning and swinging outside) also present opportunities for him to learn something new. Their recommendation was that he have weekly therapy. He will work with a developmental therapist, a speech therapist and also following this assessment we will be setting up a visit with an occupational therapist who will work with him on controlling and channeling his energy into constructive play. Play that allows him to take in all the information around him more effectively.
While all of this is not surprising to learn, it is at the same time. I would not wish for my son to need therapy of any kind…much less 3 different kinds a week for at least 6 months. Though to him it may seem like play, I am not a fool to think he won’t find the therapy, especially the occupational, just the slightest bit frustrating. But, this is the road we have been given. I’m trying to focus on how much we will all learn from this situation and the fact that we are able to get Owen what he needs now instead of brushing this stuff off until he starts school and we have a situation where his education is compromised.
Because we decided to share this information on our blog there are a few disclaimers I would like to put out there. We are sharing this for a couple of reasons.
One, I feel that Owen should always be able to look back at these posts and see the love Jeremy and I share for him as his parents. That he will always know that when life doesn’t take the straight or easy path, you follow the curves and bumps and never lose sight of what makes life worth living. And also so that he knows how proud we are to have him as our son and how hard we worked to make sure he has a healthy, happy, and able to do his best always. And more importantly, just how hard he will end up working to come up to speed with kids his age. I have no doubt this will be adventure for us all.
Two, the outcome from his evaluation was not exactly what I was expecting. After a weekend of time to mull over what was shared with us, Jeremy and I are both still a little overwhelmed. But we are also motivated. And sharing our progress and everything we learn here, gives us an outlet to share our experiences.
And three, I know there are parents out there who may just find what we are about to embark on helpful. Helpful because they aren’t alone. Helpful because Jeremy and I thought that it was something we were doing wrong as parents. Too much TV. Too much sugar. Too much/too little discipline. We could not understand why he wouldn’t just sit still and why he wasn’t interested in repeating us. We are first timers at this and are not trained in any of these things. It’s especially hard to look at your own wonderful child and be anything less than amazed. B/c he does amaze us every single day.
As a side note, we shared all of this with the therapists. Our fears about it being something we did wrong, or were failing to do correctly. To which they said, we should applaud ourselves for the fact that Owen isn’t a much more frustrated child. That we have adapted to him and have clearly tried very hard to work with and work through his busyness. We’ve accommodated him, his communication style and at the very least are able to meet his needs and satisfy him. And also that we noticed something and were willing to admit something was different. When these words from the therapists washed over me I was relieved. Relieved b/c I wasn’t being told we were the root cause of the problem…which had crossed my mind. Relieved because this will help me find more patience with his boundless energy. Relieved because I know Jer and I will be continuing to do whatever is going to help get Owen doing what he needs and should be doing.
The therapists said there is no doubt he is a smart child and they believe after some therapy we will be amazed with what we see. And amazed with everything he can do. They said they would like to do a 6 month eval with him instead of an annual b/c they truly believe they will be able to re-assess things in a new light after a few months of working with him. They each had a list of goals on things to work with him on. I am hopeful we will have these goals shared with us so we can hang them on our fridge as reminders of our destination.
So all that being said…the Linley household is about to get turned upside down. 3 hours a week for the next several months. So if you visit our house and we have words plastered on our fridge or our dining room walls or sheets of paper with first words, games, songs or tips to keep us on track with things, you’ll know why. We are going to be knee deep in learning about communication with the busy little toddler who resides there. I have no doubt it won’t be easy…but I have no doubt it’s going to be something we never forget! We got our first homework from the therapist:
- Collect 3 or 4 boxes with foods that Owen likes to eat and cut them out before putting the empty box in the trash. They are going to create a menu for him.
- Use the term All Done…followed with the sign language gestures that match it (waving your arms at waist level back and forth, almost as if you were pretending to brush off your pants) EVERY time we’re done with something. Diaper changes, car seat rides, eating in the highchair, etc.
- Take a book (first words book for example) and put him in his swing. Every time he swings to me, stop him and point to a word/picture and say it. Essentially, read to him the book while swinging. This goes back to the part about teaching him while he’s being active.
Before I go, I just wanted to share a note to Owen.
Owen,
I don’t know if one day this will all be a distant memory. Or if this will be something that follows you all of your life. But I do know this: Your Dad and I love you so much more than you’ll ever be able to understand. And I hope no matter what you face in life, you remember that above all else. We’re your biggest cheerleaders; you’re biggest supporters and cannot wait to watch you grow up! I know you will do amazing things and are already an amazing little boy with tons of personality and charisma. You make everyone you see smile…and are the light of your Daddy and I’s life. We can’t wait to see what else you have to show and teach us as we learn to be better communicators with you and your endless energy!!
Love always, Momma and Dadda
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